Stupid Girls

Thursday, July 15, 2004

no dental

You are reading

I walked. I ate the thinnest, smallest, rib eye steak in my freezer. I bathed. I dressed.

I went to the station. I left about six thirty.

I talked to Li about what I was preparing to do, how scared I was.

I walked down the hall and talked to Stretch about his kid, whom he has been bringing in, but who wasn't with him today, darn it.

I talked to Tina of National Native News.

All the construction guys were, as usual, very glad to see me. I really like them.

I was waiting for T to show up. I've borrowed a minidisc recorder, and wanted one, more day before I brought it in.

Then it was time.

I drove to the dental clinic and parked. I was fifteen minutes early. I talked with a very nice woman about this mess. She hates it, too. She has had a stroke and the left side of her body is partially paralized.

I told her about my radio work. She's going to try to listen to Women's Focus this Saturday, to hear my report. How sweet!

No benches out front, so here we were, two gimpy, old women, standing and suffering.

They opened the doors.

I handed them all my insurance stuff.

I had my name and half my social security # written down, when the woman said, "I'm sorry; you're not covered. We can't work on you."

She gave me a print out of 3 community clinics and their numbers.

I went BACK to the station, to call.

I started crying in Li's office, but she set my shoulders back and reminded me I can do this.

I called the clinic. I have some paper work to do first.

There's a twenty-five dollar, PER VISIT, copay! No matter how low my income.

Might as well be a thousand!

Well, I talked to "Grace." She offered to pay the copay.

My immediate response was an emphatic, "NO!" I apologized. But the point of this work I'm doing is so I'll feel like an equal, feel worthy.

Now, however, I'm thinking: she could loan me the copays. Only the ones I can't make myself, of course.

I'll probably need about a hundred a month, to get the work done. I can pay it back as I get radio jobs.

And this tells me something. She knows I won't kiss her with this mouth. And she's offering to help me fix it. See?

So, I have the minidisc for one, more day. I need to nap now and finish my stories tonight and tomorrow.

Another woman at the station is having an acting workshop. She has agreed to let me in for free, if I prepare lunches for fifteen people per each of two days.

"Grace" is smiling at me with such warmth: blatant, unabashed warmth. She asked if I read last night. I said yes. She's more than pleased.

I apologized for demanding so much of her attention, in a week where I know she's very busy.

I'm so ready to fall in love with her. It's right there, right in front of me.

So, now I sleep, earn money, make plans for dental care, take care of myself.

I'm so sleepy!