Another, missing piece falls back into place.
After I'd walked, eaten, posted in the blog, I felt an absence.
I didn't know what I needed, but I knew I wasn't ready for work.
I sat.
For about twenty minutes, I just sat.
I'm very surprised to say I let go the "chatter" rather quickly and just sat.
I felt my body. I listened to my fountain. I breathed. I heard my mind try to tell me things, worry, plan, fantasize. I saw what I was doing and let it go, each time.
I just sat.
When that was done, my body said it needed to sleep. I napped for an hour.
Now, I'm ready to work.
My wrists hurt, from carrying my water bottle in my swinging hands. Good; they need strength.
My whole body is tender and tingling. It's awake and repairing.
I must admit: I did break down and buy more cigarettes.
They're outside.
I don't want that stink in here, any more.
But I can't smoke a whole one. They taste terrible. I don't want that harshness in my throat.
I injest a few inhalations and put the cigarette back out.
I'm withdrawing from nicotine.
Frankly, it feels wonderful.
