Stupid Girls

Thursday, October 21, 2010

for straight people who complain we're not trying hard enough

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you don't know how hard Queers work. That's a pretty arrogant, self important thing to say. WE have to LIVE this, EVERY DAY! That is a tremendous, stressful and painful burden. If you want to do work around homophobia, fine. But to COMPLAIN about how much BETTER you do it than Queers do, that's condescending, patronizing and just as heterosexist ans anything the Queer bashers do! 
Are you familiar with the term "intergenerational trauma?" Look it up. Since the Roman army decided soldiers should be replaceable parts & should not care about their fallen comrades, heterosexism has been institutionalized in Western That's longer than the after effects of both slavery and Indigenous genocide. Look at the high level of alcohol advertising in the Queer community; it's higher than "ghetto" billboards. We self medicate, self abuse, isolate . . . these are classic symptoms of intergenerational trauma. Our elders teach us dysfunctional behaviors that are even considered "cool" within our culture. Few of us know ANYTHING about our history, our accomplishments, role models, etc. We learn to objectify our bodies, to try, any way we can, to look cool, healthy, macho, be acceptable. We struggle with what I call necessary narcicism: where one is so at risk, ALL one can focus on is one's own abilities to pass, to survive, at the exclusion of being able to form real, intimate bonds with anybody else. We cannot marry. It is difficult for us to parent/foster/adopt. We cannot serve openly in the military. We are always in danger of beatings, being fired or evicted and even having our kids taken from us. We are encouraged by pop culture to be silly, frivolous, decorative and superficial. In most towns in the US, the ONLY places we can meet each other are bars and bathrooms! We lurk in parks and shadows. We are infested with messages that we are sinful, sick, diseased, depraved and dangerous to children. EVERY DAY. Now, if you can't cope with the fact that ALL THIS multigenerational trauma has left us a bit weakened, unfocused, confused, self abusive, self destructive, self obsessed, etc., then you are demanding, unreasonably, I would argue, that we conform to YOUR experience of what courage, hard work and organizing are. Sometimes, and I so know this from personal experience, sometimes, the bravest, most difficult thing in the world is to just get out of bed and face the world ONE MORE TIME with such a broken heart, all you want to do is die.

I can "throw whatever facts" at you, but you'll ignore them (I refer to a previous post when you dismissed what I said with, "regardless..."). If I keep telling the truth, about what we need to heal, we can heal it. We'll always have problems if we IGNORE THE DAMAGE! We are NOT like YOU! And we ARE STRONG! So stop being so damn judgmental and arrogant and LISTEN, have some humility for a minute and LEARN something, instead of running your mouth about how wonderful you are compared to a 'lot of homosexuals you know." To give you an idea how LITTLE you actually know about our history and culture, we don't LIKE being called "homosexuals," because it makes us sound like the stereotype: that we only care about sex, that we're hypersexual, that we're savages and beasts that can't control our own impulses. WHY are we not called "homoamorous:" people who LOVE our own genders? Because LOVE and self esteem and dignity have been stripped from us for thousands of years, to benefit the dominant culture, because if you breeders EVER learned to LOVE each other, the whole fucked up system would crash down around the bosses' knees and we'd all be free! You could have learned something from me, but you're too busy grinding your goody two shoes axe to hear. YOU are part of the problem WE must overcome. Lead, follow or GET OUT OF THE WAY!