Stupid Girls

Saturday, July 03, 2010

please use emoticons

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 ok, tease me all you like. just know that you were not very playful with me, back in pg, so I'm not used to the concept of you being silly.

In order to help me wrap my head around the concept, it might be useful if you threw in an emoticon now and then, since I can't see your face. Some of the Japanese ones are rather complicated, so I'm not recommending them, but the standard, US happy face, etc.: those are pretty simple. I got so good at ascii imaging in chat rooms and forums, I could make animal faces and human body parts. yes, I could, and yes, I did.

I FINALLY watched Lugosi's Dracula! It took THREE DAYS to get through it. It has been very interesting to me to see how the indoctrination of my Southern Baptist childhood has completely disappeared! Things that I took as absolutely true, all they way into my mid 20s (long after I'd left the church) seem as fanciful as fairy tales, Santa or the idea that money really IS something.

It's no wonder people think I'm crazy. I'm not, of course. But my perceptions of reality are so DIFFERENT!

My foundations are rooted in entirely different soil now. Except for one thing: I have an inarticulate, but profoundly tender, memory of Jesus as my only friend, and of such phrases as "consider the lilies," "whatsoever you do unto the least of these," etc. Those values still hold in me. I did not throw out the baby with the bath water when I escaped, I'm proud to say. But I came very close!

So, Mr. Lugosi was very interesting to watch. His very expressive side kick was funny as hell and I'll bet a dollar the actor was gay. I now know that it was Mina, Dracula's victim in the film, who had scared me the worst. Subconsciously, I was terrified I would become like her: a slave to my midnight, bedroom visitors.

I get my terror now. I can protect myself, seeing I didn't turn out to be a victim. And I can comfort that little girl who was so scared.