ATTENTION: sports bras are not all that comfortable...especially when you get three goat heads in one.... that is all.

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lol. I've been out working in the yard all day, burning weeds and preparing these parachutes I bought to be shade covers for the house trailer. I mean, I've been working so hard, it hurts to put my feet on the floor when I get out of bed.

So, I came in here, started pooting around on facebook and thought, dang! I still feel pretty aggrevated, even though I'm in bed and took aspirin.

Well, you know how it is when you're working hard: you just have to ignore little pains and annoyances. So, I hadn't even NOTICED I had goat heads in my bra, until I lay down to get comfortable!

So, I've been lying in bed with my keyboard in my lap, twisted up like a pretzel, trying to take my damn bra off without getting the freaking goat heads in the bed.

You haven't lived 'til you've rolled over on a goat head in your sleep.

Ok, here it is, just as it was on facebook, but with pics.
http://viridianariverstone.blogspot.com/2011/02/attention-sports-bras-are-not-all-that.html
I had a roommate at a conference from Guam. She didn't know what goat heads were, so I was trying to describe them. Suddenly, I had a snap and opened my suit case. Sure enough, not only were there goat heads in the soles of my shoes, but she could see the hundreds of puncture marks in them, some going straight through the shoe to where my foot would be! She was horrified! They don't have nasty critters or plants in Guam. I said, well, I ain't givin you one to take home, and check your shoes when you check out!

 

PS THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO IRRADICATE GOAT HEADS, FOREVER!

 

puncture vine weevil

marriage

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When men finally figured out sperm had something to do with babies, they needed to control women, to make sure those babies shared the men's genetic material. They didn't want to bequeath their baseball card collections to someone else's kid. Also, marriage is a pretty good way to unite two families into one controlling interest, even among the poor. Marriage is an ECONOMIC institution. Historically and even, in most parts of the world right now, love has nothing to do with marriage. The concept of romantic love in marriage is a relatively new invention. In the past, women, whose uterus now belonged to her husband, could not have romantic love, at all. They were totally dependent on their husbands, economically and socially; to go outside marriage for love was, and still is, a death sentence. Men, of course, were permitted extra marital relationships and were even approved as more "manly" for having them.

There's no anthropological evidence to suggest that lifetime monogamy is a natural state for humans. It would seem men in sexual relationships with women are supposed to hang out just long enough to protect a pregnant woman until she gives birth and weans the baby. It appears SERIAL monogamy is more natural to humans.

Humans group into tribes. Tribes bear living duties communally, so everybody, to some extent, raises the children within the tribe, just as they share duties for the hunt, for gathering, for protecting the tribe from predators and enemies, etc.

The invention of the nuclear family, rather than the extended or tribal family is a very new, post-Industrial Revolution concept. Before mass production, local communities/tribes/extended families created what they needed locally, with trade to other areas.

Since the 1950s, the extended family/tribe/local community has been rendered "unnecessary," and women were segregated into individual households, with scant access to community support. It also coincides with a HUGE upsurge in alcoholism, addiction to prescription medications and child abuse in the USA.

Marriage was and is an economic institution. It is becoming less and less relevant to societies with the advent of birth control, education and employment of women, the transformation of cultures into "service sector" jobs, etc.

i think the main reason Queers want to marry is economic equality. They can't have spousal benefits, have legal rights to adopt children, visit a spouse in the hospital, get marriage deductions on taxes, etc.

what I think of late term abortion

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In my case, the decision to end a pregnancy is probably the most traumatic experience of my life. And I am a survivor of extreme childhood sexual and physical abuse that has left me with brain injuries, PTS and mutilated genitals. I've also been chronically poor and often homeless throughout my life, have been raped, beaten and robbed. So, when I say it's probably the most traumatic, it's not hyperbole; I know trauma.

I resisted the procedure. The pregnancy was killing me, but I felt like SUCH a failure: I couldn't even mother right, that I just wanted to die with my daughter. I CHOSE that pregnancy, planned for it, mentally, I mean. Being an abuse survivor, I'd been afraid, in the past, to mother; I was afraid I'd perpetuate the cycle of abuse. So, my decision to mother was a conscious, well-planned and deeply self-inspected one.

The problem with the idea of dying with my daughter was that I probably would not die, but might end up a vegetable. I had to undergo the procedure.

Because I'm low income, the only medical attention I could get was factory-style. My psychological state was never a factor. They did not honor my request to let me keep the remains for burial. It was all horrible, demeaning, traumatizing, indifferent, impersonal, cold.

If a woman needs a late term abortion, I can only imagine the personal suffering she must endure: the grief, the shame, the sense of failure, the terror. I do not believe any but a TINY minority of women (and that minority ought not mother, anyway, I'd guess) would feel that child growing in her body and not go through agony about ending that pregnancy. And I do not believe most would undergo the procedure only because a pregnancy would inconvenience them. I think that's a reactionary propaganda tactic.

I think we need to respect women, assume women can make our own medical decisions without the Big Brother State (of theocracy) telling us what to do with the contents of our wombs.

Women are not silly airheads. We don't have abortions on a whim. We get manicures, facials, plastic surgery and hair dos for that, if we want. An abortion is not a spa treatment and we don't think of it that way. For the men who think we do, go screw yourselves and stop screwing US! 

Frontline - Sex Slaves (2005)

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Part-1Documentary Watch Online

 

Part-2 Documentary Watch Online

 

Part-3 Documentary Watch Online

 

Part-4 Documentary Watch Online 

 

Jesus is watching you masturbate

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I went to fundy, xian camps. In JUNIOR HIGH, we were herded to chapel, boys & girls together and a "Pastor" told us God had made our arms this length to tempt us to masturbate. We were told we were to have NO sexual feelings until marriage! Junior High? Mixed gender audience? Can you imagine the shame, humiliation, guilt we each privately, because we could not talk to each other about it, of course, experienced, how much we hated and feared our own bodies, how inadequate, dirty and evil we thought we were????

WOMAN SPIRIT - DEDICATED TO ALL WOMEN OF THE WORLD

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MichelleSheriza | April 11, 2010 | 4 likes, 0 dislikes

Created by: Michelle Sherliza, OP -
Music: WOMAN SPIRIT by Karen Drucker from her CD - Songs of the Spirit 1
Dedicated to all the marvelous women of our World!

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Actual conservatives, FTW!

There is a HUGE difference between being "Conservative" and being reactionary. Ask yourselves: what are "Conservatives" conserving? Before the word "environmentalism" existed, I was taught natural CONSERVATION in my public school, forty years ago. Are we conserving capital, giving corporate welfare? Are we conserving human life, engaged in constant war? Are we conserving our children? Be clear on the distinction between "Conservative" and reactionary, and it's easy to pull the sheets off the ku kluxers who carry the torches. And these women made me cry.

Youth Pride Chorus: "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"

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Youth Pride Chorus, excerpt from Flying, December 4, 2010, The Kitchen, New York City

"I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou
"Fly" by Nick Drake
"Ooh Child" by The Five Stairsteps
Youth Pride Chorus website

"New York City's Youth Pride Chorus galvanizes the voices of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and straight youth ages 13-22 in the movement for change. YPC concerts feature these young artists in exciting, high-energy performances of both classic and current pop, rock, and folk songs, original choreography, and spoken word. Through fun and rigorous weekly rehearsals, YPC singers train in voice, dance, and song interpretation, developing both artistic excellence and leadership skills. YPC typically numbers between 30 and 40 singers.

"YPC has recently performed as guest artists at the  GLAAD Media Awards, GLSEN's Respect Awards, Broadway Backwards  at Lincoln Center, and with Cyndi Lauper on her True Colors Tour. Youth Pride Chorus is a program of The New York City Gay Men's Chorus and the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center. Under the artistic direction of Wes Webb and musical direction of Matthew Fetbrandt, YPC is facilitated by the Center's Youth Enrichment Services program."

"The Case Against Queer Activism"

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http://www.advocate.com/Politics/Commentary/The_Case_Against_Activism//
My response:

I'm so privileged not to live in a cosmopolitan, urban area where it's safe to hold hands and even kiss in some parts of town, where one's spouse or domestic partner receives my employment benefits, where I can form sub-cliques involving in which back pocket I place what color bandana! I'm actually grateful I live where Queer bashing is as normal as drinking a beer and nobody's ever heard of a boi! Because here, in the real United States, the rural back roads of real life, those who love and support me really do, without conditions or mine fields and, when we find others like us, we overlook minor and petty disagreements, because we so badly need each other's support, assistance, empathy and kindness that we can't afford the privilege of tearing each other to pieces while the Queer bashers just watch us implode! I hope I never live in a city, a subculture or a Queer community again! It sounds heart breaking! Peace to all of you. I'm so sorry this has happened.

reminded of the hate in Indiana

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just a reply to a facebook friend who was quoting some "color purple"

y'know, all that bs about Shug makin' up with her preacher daddy? That ain't in the book. Nope. That's Spielberg for ya: a Black woman from the South, an alien from outer space? Same thing. I so didn't like the color purple. It messed up my head: WHY did Walker allow him to butcher her like that? But the talent in the film is awesome. Quincy Jones is amazing. Oprah was fierce. I loved the juke joint and Mister's house. I showed the kiss as part of my final project in a course called "Effects of Mass Communication," in an oral presentation on Vito Russo's Celluloid Closet. This was in Indiana, too close to Ku Kluxer towns. Very Rush Limbaugh and Pat Roberston. Well, they tore me apart. I'd even learned how to edit video tape to make that presentation. They tore me apart and the instructor let them. I ran from class in tears. Later, a psych proff who's a feminist invited me to give my presentation to one of her classes, so I did. They LOVED it! I went to the little Queer center on campus, feeling vindicated and victorious. They said, "Don't you come in here! We heard you made a scene in Ms. so and so's class! You're giving us a bad name...." It wasn't true, of course. But they wouldn't listen and did not want to be associated with me. I dropped out of school and overdosed on pain meds. Incomplete suicide. Ironically, the President of Indiana University Southeast was on the Board of Directors of the First Unitarian Church of Louisville, my fellowship. After that communications class had been so evil to me, it was Richard, their minister and my close friend, that I called. He rushed to meet me at Campus and, when my instructor REFUSED TO SEE HIM, Richard spoke to the Dean of the dept., who was also a cough "chaplain." Richard leaned over the guy's desk and said, "How DARE you allow this behavior in a university! What if this woman had been Black, doing a presentation on Blacks in motion pictures? WOULD YOU ALLOW THAT BEHAVIOR THEN???" basically, the dean told Richard, yeah, he would and waddya gonna do about it?

I cant' watch any of the films in that video tape I put together for that class without sobbing uncontrollably. When the class saw the kiss between celie and shug, they screamed and moaned and said eewwww and gross and perverted and.......

never went back to a college since. 

Zach Wahls Speaks About Family

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Zach Wahls, a 19-year-old University of Iowa student spoke about the strength of his family during a public forum on House Joint Resolution 6 in the Iowa House of Representatives. Wahls has two mothers, and came to oppose House Joint Resolution 6 which would end civil unions in Iowa.

Cairo Street Debate: When Mubarak Foes and Backers Clash

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It's the women who know how to clean up & to soothe:

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,2045278,00.html
 

A woman in a brown abaya, hijab and gloves proceeded forward. "What are you all arguing about?" she said, speaking to both groups. "Why don't you all think about working together for Egypt? Egypt — that's what you should all be saying, not screaming at each other."

"Look at it — look at the looting, look at the burned buildings," a Mubarak supporter told her.

"So what? We will clean it up and rebuild it," she responded. "What are you getting so angry about? The President will not stay forever."

The woman seemed to calm everyone down. Some 30 minutes after the fracas began, it was over.

The Divine Feminine

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A response to Stephanie, if you can see the following link
http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=154809&id=609338161

 

Well, lady, if you wanna waft around in see-through Madras hippy shirts because you're scared that developing muscles might cause some redneck Jethro to call you a bull dyke, that's your insecurity, not mine. When they do it to me, I just smile and say, "Thanks for noticing!" and flip 'em off.

There's no one right or wrong way to be a woman, any more than there is to be a Gender Queer or a man. I don't have to contemplate my belly button to get in touch with my feminine side; it's right below my belly button, at a convenient arm's length.

Women become "successes" in "a man's world" by aping all those endearing qualities of patriarchy: ruthlessness, callousness, aggression, competition, back stabbing, throat slitting.... Maybe they wear blazers to hide the scars? I don't fault Hillary for killing herself to be a person of influence in the modern world. And I don't think she has sold her gender out. In fact, she speaks of women's issues nearly constantly, even in countries MUCH worse than this one, and THIS one is BAD!

One of my old runnin' buddies, and a current Facebook friend http://www.facebook.com/#!/zbudapest , is the very first Feminist witch High Priestess. She taught me (who came from a very fundamentalist xian background) that the female is sacred, powerful, strong, healing, redemptive, life giving and utterly essential in this perverted, patriarchal society. I was a young, teen runaway, on the streets of Los Angeles, a pretty blond girl. I should not have survived. She's one of the reasons I did. And I love her.

Do I practice witchcraft? Nope. Do I pray to Goddesses for intervention or the bestowing of favors or blessings? Nope. Do I believe switching out genders on an outmoded cultural construct is all religion needed to make it viable? Nope.

I'm still agnostic. I still love science over superstition and I still get weirded out when people try to force me to pray or participate in rituals that have no significance to me.

So, young Earth mother of the newest, more techy and far more polluted generation than mine ever was when gas was twenty-nine cents a gallon and I could live on the beach in L.A. County for less than a hundred bucks a month, You have just rediscovered the wheel. Congratulations.

As you pat yourself on the back for discovering feminist theory and the role of women in comparative religious studies, take a breath and remember your foremothers. We blazed this trail for you in the U.S., starting with Dollie Madison, admonishing her husband "don't forget the ladies" while writing the Constitution to Elizabeth Cady Stanton and her Women's Bible to cranky Mary Daly and her Wickedary glossary of women's wisdom through the etymology of words.

Come back when you've grown some hair on your lip, and we'll talk then. Ok?

Dine people struggle with phobias

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The campaign for President and Vice President of Navajo Nation was sprinkled with insinuations about whether one candidate was "Gay." It was silly and ugly. Now, photos of Navajo transvestites or transexuals in femaile clothing are being circulated on Facebook, as though that would be the worst thing in the world. These photos are being "tagged" with the name of President Ben Shelly and appear in an album on a brand new facebook page by someone whose only linked interest was Shelly's opponent, who has publicly made some pretty ignorant remarks about LGBTQ issues.

Here is my response to the photo tagging:

 I see no link to an actual NT article, so don't know if this is an accurate quote from it. I do know Alkenaz Bahe has "tagged" Shelly in a photograph that seems disrespectful. I saw it on my wall http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?fbid=121702131235683&id=100001876914602&aid=21837 and I see the only "interest" linked in the profile of Alkenaz Bahe is Lynda Lovejoy.

I know Ms. Lovejoy has very limited understanding of LGBTQ issues and has embarrassed herself by saying Vice President Jim has "gender issues," which she later confused with "Gay," and that even making a public statement like that is considered, by Navajo etiquette, to be inappropriate. I also believe Ms. Lovejoy thinks LGBTQ people are bad or wrong, and that it is good to spread rumors about them, that they deserve whatever torments might come their way for even being rumored to be LGBTQ.

I know Mr. Jim is a single father and Vice President of his Nation, and sincerely doubt he has a lot of free time or energy to waste on any sort of romantic adventures. I also do not think he is stupid enough to be found out, if he were.

I think it took courage for Mr. Shelly and Mr. Jim to stand in front of a rainbow flag and have their photograph recorded and that photograph brought tears to my eyes because, just maybe, it might mean the beginning of the end of foolish stereotypes and prejudices against people whom the Dine once held in respect and acceptance, before the corrupting influences of non-Navajo "missionaries," who have had a several-centuries-old reputation of NOT taking Dine culture, traditions, lands and people seriously or showing any respect for ancient ways.

Finally, I have to question whom all this benefits and, again, signs point back to a possible Lovejoy smear campaign. She has shown herself to be a "sore loser" and has not gracefully, and with humility, accepted the election of the new leaders and committed herself to the best interests of Navajo Nation. If she is not responsible for the current distribution of these photographs in some misguided attempt to discredit people based on clothing, one of her misguided supporters is, and she needs to publicly denounce such unbecoming behavior.

As a non-Navajo, who has watched this past election and installation of the new governing body carefully, I have to say this: this distribution of photographs, insinuations that people who might be LGBTQ are bad or corrupt or evil or ugly, the very nasty comments to President Shelly's Facebook page at the time of the Inauguration would not leave a positive impression on most people I know who are not Dine. They make the Nation seem, undeservedly, petty, small minded, prone to rumor and gossip, prejudiced, backward and ignorant. I know, for an absolute fact, that NONE of those impressions is, truly, valid or representative of Navajo Nation. Others might not think things through so much or give benefit of the doubt, but make jokes, point fingers and ridicule.

Bottom line: This sort of behavior is undignified, in opposition to basic Dine values, embarrassing and destructive to the entire Nation, not just to a few individuals in public office.

It's very middle school, bullying behavior and it does not belong in public discourse about the workings of Navajo Nation government! If this is the BEST one can do to feebly attempt to discredit Navajo leaders, it shows how very weak and small those discreditors are and that the Nation is probably best served that Shelly's and Jim's opponents did NOT win the election!

There is so much beauty, dignity, grace, joy and honor in the Navajo Nation. I am embarrassed to see it smeared with such foolish, petty hate.

CREATING CRIMES AGAINST UNBORN CHILDREN;

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HOUSE BILL 30
50TH LEGISLATURE - STATE OF NEW MEXICO - FIRST SESSION, 2011
INTRODUCED BY
Larry A. Larrañaga

http://www.nmlegis.gov/Sessions/11%20Regular/bills/house/HB0030.pdf

http://www.nmlegis.gov/lcs/
You know, when my baby was dying, I had to "kill" her 3 times with 2 procedures: abortion (she wasn't in my uterus) & laprascopic surgery (she was in my fallopian tube; surgery had to be rescheduled cus I drank a Pepsi). I went through HELL, losing my only child. Her name was Viri Diana. Nobody cared; med. staff called her a "collection of cells" (I was apx. 10 wks. pregnant). Father abandoned me. Queer church freaked out cuz I did it with a man....I was totally alone and I turned suicidal. When I saw the abortion dummies at the State Fair, I had to finally run out of the tent, because I just lost it and started SCREAMING at them for making me relive that trauma, and I was afraid someone would call security. I went through those procedures because that pregnancy would have killed me. It almost did, anyway. I do NOT need some MAN telling ME I'm a MURDERER! I did that to myself! The only reason I didn't kill myself (failure even as a mother) was because I didn't want Viri Diana's only legacy to be my death, "she killed herself over that pregnancy."

This crap has GOT to go:
C. Unless acting upon sufficient provocation, upon
a sudden quarrel or in the heat of passion, a person who causes
the death of an unborn child without lawful justification or
excuse commits murder of an unborn child in the second degree
if in performing the acts that cause the death, the person
knows that such acts create a strong probability of death or
great bodily harm to another.
D. Whoever commits murder of an unborn child in the
second degree is guilty of a second degree felony resulting in
the death of a human being.
SECTION 4. MANSLAUGHTER OF AN UNBORN CHILD.--
A. Manslaughter of an unborn child is the unlawful
killing of an unborn child through actions committed without
malice.

1996 Atlanta Pride Festival Speech by Coretta Scott King

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For historical and educational purposes only. Mrs. Coretta Scott King speaks at the 1996 Atlanta Pride Festival in Piedmont Park in Atlanta Georgia.

Listen to her speak then and much of it still applies to TODAY!

IN MEMORY OF CORETTA SCOTT KING (1927-2006)

ATLANTA PRIDE (www.atlantapride.org)

DONATE AND SUPPORT THE KING CENTER (www.thekingcenter.org)

This is not a difficult concept

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for straight people who complain we're not trying hard enough

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you don't know how hard Queers work. That's a pretty arrogant, self important thing to say. WE have to LIVE this, EVERY DAY! That is a tremendous, stressful and painful burden. If you want to do work around homophobia, fine. But to COMPLAIN about how much BETTER you do it than Queers do, that's condescending, patronizing and just as heterosexist ans anything the Queer bashers do! 

Are you familiar with the term "intergenerational trauma?" Look it up. Since the Roman army decided soldiers should be replaceable parts & should not care about their fallen comrades, heterosexism has been institutionalized in Western cultu...re. That's longer than the after effects of both slavery and Indigenous genocide. Look at the high level of alcohol advertising in the Queer community; it's higher than "ghetto" billboards. We self medicate, self abuse, isolate . . . these are classic symptoms of intergenerational trauma. Our elders teach us dysfunctional behaviors that are even considered "cool" within our culture. Few of us know ANYTHING about our history, our accomplishments, role models, etc. We learn to objectify our bodies, to try, any way we can, to look cool, healthy, macho, whatever...to be acceptable. We struggle with what I call necessary narcicism: where one is so at risk, ALL one can focus on is one's own abilities to pass, to survive, at the exclusion of being able to form real, intimate bonds with anybody else. We cannot marry. It is difficult for us to parent/foster/adopt. We cannot serve openly in the military. We are always in danger of beatings, being fired or evicted and even having our kids taken from us. We are encouraged by pop culture to be silly, frivolous, decorative and superficial. In most towns in the US, the ONLY places we can meet each other are bars and bathrooms! We lurk in parks and shadows. We are infested with messages that we are sinful, sick, diseased, depraved and dangerous to children. EVERY DAY. Now, if you can't cope with the fact that ALL THIS multigenerational trauma has left us a bit weakened, unfocused, confused, self abusive, self destructive, self obsessed, etc., then you are demanding, unreasonably, I would argue, that we conform to YOUR experience of what courage, hard work and organizing are. Sometimes, and I so know this from personal experience, sometimes, the bravest, most difficult thing in the world is to just get out of bed and face the world ONE MORE TIME with such a broken heart, all you want to do is die.

I can "throw whatever facts" at you, but you'll ignore them (I refer to a previous post when you dismissed what I said with, "regardless..."). If I keep telling the truth, about what we need to heal, we can heal it. We'll always have problems if we IGNORE THE DAMAGE! We are NOT like YOU! And we ARE STRONG! So stop being so damn judgmental and arrogant and LISTEN, have some humility for a minute and LEARN something, instead of running your mouth about how wonderful you are compared to a 'lot of homosexuals you know." To give you an idea how LITTLE you actually know about our history and culture, we don't LIKE being called "homosexuals," because it makes us sound like the stereotype: that we only care about sex, that we're hypersexual, that we're savages and beasts that can't control our own impulses. WHY are we not called "homoamorous:" people who LOVE our own genders? Because LOVE and self esteem and dignity have been stripped from us for thousands of years, to benefit the dominant culture, because if you breeders EVER learned to LOVE each other, the whole fucked up system would crash down around the bosses' knees and we'd all be free! You could have learned something from me, but you're too busy grinding your goody two shoes axe to hear. YOU are part of the problem WE must overcome. Lead, follow or GET OUT OF THE WAY!

define queer

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 For me, Queer is reclaiming a word of power. Formerly, it was power against us. One of the most devastating things a normy (or pod person, as I call them, when they point and scream) could do to you was "out' you. And I think a lot of people, in a variety of subcultures/identities/orientations, began adopting this word: we're here; we're Queer; get used to it. And we ARE Queer, by social norms, although, I suspect, there are a whole LOT of normies who are really Queers, whether they know it or not, and passing. So, I like to see the human race as Queer in latency. i think, some day, none of this bs will matter any more, or, at least, that humans have that potential. Women can control our reproduction now; bodies can be modified, by surgery or hormones or . . . There have always been Queers; universities now offer MAJORS in Queer Theory and Studies! god, to be a kid again! People of my generation, and older, still have issues with the word; we wee beaten, fired, raped, killed, had our kids taken away. . . and that word was all the ammunition they needed. So, like a certain racial epithet assigned to dark skinned people of color, I'd advise caution and context. And I can't speak for other Queers. Some folks prefer that alphabet soup: LGBT and some ad Q for questioning and even fewer add I for intersexed. But I'm dyslexic, so letters get me confused. Also, LGBTQI sounds like some academic attribution, like PhD, or something: it's too formal. It used to be a stone insult to call someone Black; colored was considered more genteel. Same kind of thing, i think. I'm no expert; can't afford a university degree in Queer Studies. So, I may be talking out my @$$, but it wouldn't be the first time, would it? LOL

define pansexuality

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• I am pansexual. I choose people to love based on a lot of criteria, but genital configuration is not one of them. I suppose one could say I choose, but I did not choose to be pansexual; it's just how I came. Learning to BE pansexual in a bl...ack/white/male/female/top/bottom/gay/straight/good/bad/saint/sinner world has been a challenge, and i dd not go through it without a few scars and traumas. But I must say I would choose this orientation, if I had the option. I hope we're going in a direction where sexuality doesn't have to be so traumatic for younger people...if I knew then what I know now, I could have saved myself a lot of self abuse, self hatred, self medicating and self denial. 'course now, i'm too old and ugly.

   
• there's a wiki, but not very complete, here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality
  
  I would say that, as we become more conscious that there are more than two genders, that gender need not be predicated on genital configuration, th...at, even within such self definitions as intersexed, transexual, etc. there are multiple potentials for self expression/identity, etc. the limiting term of "bisexual" has, in some cases, expanded, as well. True, many bisexuals may never be comfortable with or attracted to gender queers, for example, or intersexed people or transexual people. For them, the "opposite ends of the spectrum" will always be what attracts. I don't know if this is cultural, biological, a product of Madison Ave. I have no clue. I know my own eroticism has been corrupted by culturally, usually commercially, encouraged "ideal" body types. I have unlearned most of that, now that I'm five years from sixty.

   
• But I also know, not believe, know that self defining as bisexual is just as limiting, dangerous and repressive to me as my former attempts to conform my sexuality with cultural demands. I, of course, tried very hard to be heterosexual as a... teen; I ended up suicidal. i then attempted to identify as lesbian, in the seventies, in los angeles, surrounded by the lesbian feminist movement. I felt tremendous guilt for any encounters with men; I felt like a traitor. I drank myself to near alcoholism. Finally, embarrassed but too tired not to be humble, i admitted I was bisexual. I was relieved and very grateful when Queer became an inclusive identity. Bisexuals are branded as sexually immature, promiscuous, confused, incapable of commitment and even dragging STDs back to the Queer community. I was having a hard time dealing with other people's assumptions about my abilities to be responsible, when they learned I was bisexual. Queer brought me back to my more radical and flamboyant roots of the seventies. And then, the Amazing Thing happened.

   
• I met, and fell in love with, one of the most unique people on the planet. And i'm not using that phrase in the ordinary, I'm in love and isn't she wonderful way. It was actually terrifying: I had ABSOLUTELY no road map in how to relate to ...this person, and this person couldn't really tell me, either, for several reasons; first, her situation may be unmatched, anywhere. second, she was very traumatized around gender and sexual identities and orientations. third, people of alternate genders/identities sometimes experience what i've come to call Necessary Narcissism. just to be able to survive, to pass without attracting harassment, to get where they need to be in their own lives, they have to concentrate their total focus on only what it is they need. I have seen indications of this among a wide range of Queers, for all kinds of reasons. in most cases, it is an acute condition, which eases and passes, once the crisis of establishing one's place in the world is accomplished.

   
• But this particular human being had multiple, deep, heart wrenching crises and traumas around body image, gender identity, sexuality, sexual orientation, etc. this person was born intersexed, but forced to be a boy. in adolescence, she cast...rated herself. in young adulthood, she began living as a woman and soon had sexual reassignment surgery. basically, this person has identified herself to me as intersexed, eunuch and transexual. in addition, because of her unique genital configuration, her reassignment surgery was not standard, and mistakes were made. Can you see why i was scared? I had no idea what to do, how to proceed, except to follow my gut and my heart and try very hard not to hurt either of us too much.

   
• i do not feel the termination of the relationship to be a failure on my part. i feel it was one of the bravest, most honest, most profound and most liberating experiences of my life. I will always be grateful for the experience. but, becaus...e of my own behavioral health challenges, and because she really is very self absorbed, the relationship could not maintain. This is how i know that configuration of genitals is no issue for me. i broke through the ultimate barrier of human sexuality, in my experience, and just loved somebody, no matter what. i know it's possible, because i did it, for years.
• i always thought something was wrong with me, when i'd get the hots for a drag queen, or an older woman when I was much younger, or a biker dude, or a very femme ballerina Lesbian. I thought i should choose, settle down, make a commitment. Now, I see, I did choose: I settled down to the realization that human beings can just put me in awe. i have made a commitment to that. That is my choice.

   
• Am I sorry I have nobody to grow old with me? yes. But this isn't a perfect world and my reality just isn't the norm. Add to that my behavioral health challenges, and a life partner would either have to be in a coma or absentee to live with me for decades. I know i'd be more financially secure in a partnership. I might have a home. I might even have children. And oh, i wish those things were true.

   
• but, I guess, I'm the Forest Gump of the Queer rights movement; i was always around when things happened, but they never really happened to me; I was an observer, a supporter. And, regarding my sexual identity, it's cliche, cuz it's true: life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you'll get.