Stupid Girls

Thursday, December 30, 2004


You are reading

You are reading

I told her last night: this has been the best Christmas season of my entire life.

Oh, we had an argument on Christmas day, but we talked through it and the sky didn't fall on us.

We got a puppy, for Porkchop. She's a cocker/beagle mix. She looks like a miniature, blonde coon hound or golden Lab. Porkchop's entire demeaner has changed as a result. He loves her to death. He lets her dominate him and submits with blissful relief.

She was abandoned at Chaco Canyon, tied to a tree, left to die. When the couple found her in October, she was dying. She weighed ten pounds (she's 18 now). She couldn't walk. She's still got a delicate digestive system; her stools are too loose and she vomits from over excitement periodically. But she's very happy here and spends all of her time with Porkchop. He has become downright noble.

Last night, I threw a rib bone out front. This morning, she found it first. She growled viciously at Porky as she chewed on the bone. Porky made no move to take the bone; he just watched her eat and backed off so she wouldn't growl. Porky was starved, too, so this is a remarkable show of thoughtfulness on his part.

My girl went out on her bicycle for the 2nd time since her return. She was under the weather during her time off and came home pretty weak, needing lots of rest. But, she put her bike trailer on the bike and headed out.

We get email from the Albq. Freecycle Yahoo group. One guy had put some give-aways out in his front yard. We need smoke detectors, and he had some. So, she went to check it out. His house is half way across town, and about a mile north of ours.

Then, she went south on his cross street, to the south end of town. A lady there had a hassock: a big foot stool or ottoman. It was part of a sectional sofa. It is nearly 3x3 feet and about 2 feet tall. It's a "box spring" type bottom with a very large cushion on top. It's teal velour upholstery. She strapped it to the trailer with bungie cords. The former owners were quite impressed.

She pulled it home on the bike, in light rain and moderate wind, in the dark. It was, apparantly, quite an adventurous day for her. She called from her cell to report in and let me know when she'd return. She reported her struggles with weather, directions and lack of bathroom facilities along the route. I was laughing my head off.

When she got back, the bathroom was already warm, so she could shower. I had a fresh towel for her, helped her out of her wet clothes into her bedroom slippers, provided a clean, dry bathrobe and started dinner while she washed up.

Her previous bike trip, she'd gone to her post office box, to Smith's for a rib eye roast, and Winrock Mall for some makeup. So, we ate my favorite meat: rib eye roast. I'd baked some potatoes. We'd made a big bowl of cucumber salad (she has some bruising and swelling on her face, from an allergic reaction she had while gone; cucumbers reduce swelling), and some wheatless Yorkshire Pudding to soak up meat juices. We still have plenty left; it's a 5 pound roast. Just perfect.

There's sparkling cranberry juice, chilling in the fridge, which she brought back for New Year. She's the best friend I've ever had. We have SO much fun together.

She loves her new wardrobe. I dress her up, help her with her makeup and hair, and we go out for the day. There's a new trolly that passes right near our house. We get on that and take the new Rapid Ride bus on Route 66 to travel around town.

We went to the mall together 2 days ago. She bought me a bathrobe I've wanted my whole life: floor-length chenille, with flowers near the hem. Better than I could have imagined, it's a rich lilac color. I got an extra large, so it really wraps around with plenty of extra fabric to keep my knees and ankles warm. It wasn't cheap and it wasn't on sale. And it came from the snootiest department store in the mall. But I'd been checking on eBay, and elsewhere. The price, while steep, was reasonable.

We ate Godiva truffles and gingerbread mocha drinks at Borders. We bought matcing cardigan sweaters at a store that's closing. Hers is pink; mine is lilac. They both have appliques of sequined flowers at the shoulder. Very '50s style. All she needs is a poodle skirt. I already got one at Buffalo Exchange, the resale shop near the radio station (cost me 2 dollars. it's blue felt, with black poodles on gold leashes with rhinestone collars).

She's looking fabulous. We dyed her hair "Egyptian plum" with a temporary hair color. I cut it shorter and curlier. She's wearing makeup. She has the new clothes, jewelry, etc. When we were in the mall, even in the snooty store, people were looking at her. Not because she looked freaky or weird; they were checking her out because, in our age range, she was the best looking woman in almost every room we entered. I was very proud.

Primping and dressing up has been very good for her. She's not dry and fussy anymore; she's more sweet-natured, sexy and girly now. I really like it...grin.

She wonders what the people at her job will think, when she gets back there next week. I'm reasonably certain they'll be very impressed. I also know of at least one woman there, our age, who will be jealous. I've already warned Ma; that woman hates to be seen next to another woman her age who might look better than she does.

Ma was never the good looking one in the room. She was nondescript, muted, nearly apologetic for her appearance. She looked like a librarian, really. Sorry librarians.

Well, now, she's rosey and curly and elegant and sparkley. She's lookin' pretty hot, for fifty! We've brought out her inner elegance, sense of fun and playfulness. She looks like her temprament, now. She looks great. So, I'm thinking of showing up at her job and just hangin' in the hall, her first day back, so I can hear people's reactions when she walks in.

Well, I have chickens to feed. And I need to warm some coffee. Ma's asleep right now. We're going to the Barret House thrift store later today. I need a new coat. If we can't find one there, we'll try WalMart's after xmas sale. I hate that place, but don't mind buying stuff there, as long as they're not making profit from me. We'll also check there for marked down xmas crap, including replacement lightbulbs for night lights.

Barret House has VERY nice clothes, very cheap. Rich ladies donate their clothing. The thrift store helps fund a shelter for homeless women and kids. I love shopping there.

Ma bought me a crosscut paper shredder at Big Lots the other day; we shred junk mail and I use the shreds for cat litter! Works great!

Later today or tomorrow, I'll post my recipes for cucumber salad and for wheatless Yorkshire pudding over at Hood Life. I'll also put them on my domain.

Hope everyone's having a safe and happy holy days season.

I sure am!