Stupid Girls

Friday, August 20, 2004

First night in new house

You are reading

I had the bed made. I had the curtains up. I had candles and pretty lamps.

I made supper. I filled small casseroles with cheese/salmon/tomato custard, topped with brocolli, tomato and shrimp, wrapped in filo and topped with cheese and butter. I baked a thick rib eye with a wasabi rub, onions, brocolli and mushrooms. The appetiser was Oaxaca cheese and grapes.

We went to Kmart for an oven thermometer; this oven has neither temp. marks nor thermostadt, apparantly.

We're looking at area rugs.

We're planning to build a cat "kennel." It'll be chicken wire and lattice.

We stopped by her place for some stuff.

We screwed in light bulbs at the new place.

We plotted and planned.

We cuddled and talked.

We got more of her stuff this morning and I just finished packing another load of my stuff, too.

I'll pack another load this evening and we'll go over together for the night.

It's very quiet and comfortable.

We will be ok. We scare each other sometimes, but that's to be expected. And this is a radical change. Hell, moving alon is radical; moving in with someone who's only been a lover for three weeks is potentially suicidal.

She told her sister. Everything: that we're lovers and all of it. wow.

She had a very tiny, orderly, predictable life. She has taken big risks and chances, even accepting my advances. She could have written me off as a minor stalker of slight mental impairament and kept her life just the way she wanted it.

Instead, she's opening up. And other people are beginning to notice. She's softer, friendlier, prettier, more attractive. They don't know why, but they like her more.

I told her last night I don't expect exclusivity. I told her she can't discern the difference between who I am intrinsically and the atmosphere of being with a woman who loves women. It's her first time. She likes men and that's ok by me. I just asked her to let me know if she wants to persue something potentially romantic with someone else.

At first, she said she'd even decline offers to go out for coffee. I explained that was ridiculous; she's allowed to have a social life, for cryin' out loud. I just want to know if she's considering something deeper with someone.

She said there haven't been any offers for eight years. But, I explained, she's much more attractive now, so she can expect some attention.

Being with a woman gets one in touch with one's womanliness. It's just true. So the "vibe" of female eroticism touches every aspect of one's life.

Bottom line: I don't want her to feel she must diminish or restrict her life in any way to be in mine. She's family. She always will be. And, as I've said, I'm more a Lesson than a Life Partner.

We'll be in each other's lives for the rest of our lives, unless something really unnatural happens.

She'll always be my girl.