Stupid Girls

Monday, February 26, 2007

She keeps betraying my trust

Tonight, she wouldn't even relate to me about the Oprah special on her
school for girls in South Africa.

I always wanted to start a school. And my work with the kids in the War
Zone was so important to me. It killed me when the city condemned the
house and threw me into the street.

She knows all that.

It's always about her interests, projects, needs, etc. I always play
second fiddle, am required to put my needs aside. Her job, school, body
dysmorphia, hypocondria and self-obsession always come first.

She can't conceive of treating me with minimum respect.

I emailed her this:

The least important aspect of the program tonight was why the girls
spoke English.

You repeatedly interrupted the MOST important part of the program, the
girls' own stories, to obsess on it.

I told you to look it up. You were sitting RIGHT by a computer with
internet access.

You would not let me hear the girts' stories, and that's exactly why I
wanted to watch the program.

Other than your obsession with that issue, you had no interest in the
program, except to put down Oprah.

I wasn't watching Oprah; I was watching the girls. They're the story.

Your behavior was disrespectful and disruptive. I don't frequently
express much interest in promotions for tv programming. I did for this
special, and told you so over several days.

You KNEW this was important to me.

I don't ask for much, but I do provide a lot. I wanted to see that
program, to enjoy and savor it.

You poisoned it. I think you did it intentionally.

I seldom ask for your emotional support. I needed it tonight.

As usual, you were not only not there for me, but you acted like I was
torturing you, just because I wanted to have you actually stand within
my line of vision while I spoke to you. You made faces; you groaned; you
sighed heavily; you rolled your eyes. You made it very clear you didn't
even want to listen to me.

Tonight was an incredible opportunity for us to bond, discuss something
profoundly important to the health of the world. You threw it away.

I give up. Nothing I do to support, help and encourage you will ever be
enough to earn your respect. You will never treat me as an equal. You
will always treat me as a threat to your well being.

I quit. You're on your own.