I wrote the following to a significant other of a preop transexual, who is worried because her partner is no longer sexual, due to hormone therapy.There is a viable option: polyamory.
Here's the Google result:http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=polyamory
I also suggest you read a book, _The Ethical Slut_
Google result:http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=%22ethical+slut%22
I have a similar experience, with a 30 year post op., intersexed (designated male at birth) to female. For many reasons, she is incapable of sexuality. AND, she becomes the primary focus of the household, at my expense.
I don't sacrifice myself to her agendas anymore.
You are capable of loving -- physically, intellectually and emotionally -- more than one person, in more than one way. You don't need to sacrifice your womanhood for someone else's.
The trick here is to be honest about what's happening. Lying isn't healthy. Of course, rubbing someone's nose in your intimate life isn't healthy, either. Would you tell a roommate, a coworker, a member of your religious body, etc. the details of your sex life? Probably not, under most circumstances. You are allowed to have an intimate life, without lying about it, and without using it as a weapon against someone who's experience his/her own struggles with sexuality, gender, etc.
The less we abdicate our personhood to the S.O.'s agenda, the healthier we, and the S. O., in relationship to us, will be.
Love has seemingly infinite ways of manifesting. Go into the world and be loved.
