"The Alternative Fix"

Look, "mainstream" medicine scares me to death. I watched "ER" last night and burst into tears. I never do that; I see most of the characters on the show as enemies. But when Lukah decided to triage the waiting room to prevent deaths, I burst into tears. A patient, it seems, left after waiting, unexamined, for eleven hours. She died. Lukah spent time in Africa, in a civil war. He returns to find this inefficient, smug, beurocratic system that's killing people in the most affluent country on earth.

I walked out of an ER after four hours unattended. I was having SERIOUS abdominal pain, in the approxemate location of my right ovarie.

How do I know this? Because I had suffered an ectopic pregnancy on the left side which required removal of the fallopian tube. This pain was a mirror of the other.

I still don't know what was wrong. I still get pain there at times.

But I had to leave, as my ride could only come at a certain time. He had to go to work. I couldn't possibly have negotiated the bus.

It took me four more days to recover enough to walk without pain.

So, alternative medicine scares me to death. There are so many fakes out there, exploiting the suffering of the desperate.

"The Alternative Fix"
Thursday, November 6, 2003
9 - 10:00 pm

Through interviews with staunch supporters, skeptical scientists and observers on both sides of the debate, this documentary examines how complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) treatments are facing increased scrutiny as the first real studies of their effectiveness are published, and questions whether hospitals that offer alternative therapies are conferring a sense of legitimacy on these largely untested and scientifically unproven treatments. (CC, Stereo)

At the companion site, access a compendium of fact sheets and resources to learn more about alternative therapies, get tips and safety precautions for those considering alternative treatments, watch the program online, trace the history of alternative medicine's conflicts with conventional medicine and much more.
here
(Available Thursday, November 6)

Dear House of "Representatives,"

First, let me say you don't represent me. Most of you are pure Caucasian. Most of you are men. Most of you are wealthy.

Most of you have never had a life-threatening pregnancy.

Now, you've passed legislation which states some late-term abortion procedures are "never" necessary to save the life of the mother.

Only one of you has a medical degree, and his neck is redder than a penis in a stew pot.

How would you know what is medically necessary?

How DARE you impose yourself on such an intimate, heartbreaking decision? This is between the mother, her physician and her family. It is NONE of your business!

You'll never have to endure the agony of submitting to killing your baby to spare your own life.

You'll never know the vicious guilt and self-blame the mother must endure, in addiion to grieving for her dead child.

You'll never know.

Yet you think you have some right to impose your smug arrogance on the reproductive organs of every woman in this country?

You are not divine. You're not even decent representatives of humanity.

You are caving in to a tiny minority of FUNDAMENTALISTS. Like the Taliban.

You have put my womb in a burkah. You are beating me for making a sound. You are stoning me to death for knowing I have civil rights.

SHAME on you!

YOU DO NOT REPRESENT MOTHERS OF DEAD AND DYING CHILDREN!

Go to hell!

Soap Opera Therapy

I'm in bed, with the soaps on.

Soaps are relatively mindless and funny. And cathartic, really; only on the soaps are there frank discussions about dead children, hearts broken by betrayal, etc. In real life, one is expected to pretend the dark side of life doesn't happen, lest one upset the complacent. So, soaps are good for a cleansing weep now and then.

For instance, Carley on General Hospital miscarried a baby a few years back and she's about due with another baby now..six more weeks, I'd think. Sonny's other pregnant wife died in a car bombing, meant for him (he's a gangster, sort of). So he's convinced Carley's gonna lose this baby, if he sticks around. Guilt Guilt.

In real life, idiots say things like, "it's not your fault; it was an accident; you couldn't help it..." and the dreaded, "you can always have another baby." Well, it doesn't work like that. One may understand, intellectually, that one is not responsible. But if one is truly a Parent, something visceral and primal blames one for the death of the child. It's not rational; it's instinctive. Logic has nothing to do with it.

ONLY on the soap operas is this phenomenon addressed directly.

She Would Have Been Eight This Year

I'm watching "Toy Story II."

An eight-year-old is about a fun as it gets. Full of questions, excited about life, discovering amazing things in normal life, every day, silly, conversational, creative.

I can imagine us, curled in this bed with the cat and dog, a big bowl of home-made peanut brittle, cuddling and LAUGHING at this silly movie.

I can imagine the smell of body oil on her scalp, the rubber of her sneakers erasing my leg hairs, her bony elbows in my ribs and breasts, the heat of her pressed against me.

I can imagine us.

It's the hardest feeling in the world.